I Built an AI Agent in Java (No Python. No Hype. Just Code.)

Everyone told me I needed Python for AI. I didn't listen. Here's what happened. Let me be real with you. Every time I say "I'm building an AI agent," people assume I'm wrist-deep in Python virtual environments, pip dependencies, and a LangChain tutorial from 2023. And when I say "in Java?" — I get the look. You know the one. So I built it anyway. A fully functional AI agent. With tool use. With R