Everyone told me I needed Python for AI. I didn't listen. Here's what happened. Let me be real with you. Every time I say "I'm building an AI agent," people assume I'm wrist-deep in Python virtual environments, pip dependencies, and a LangChain tutorial from 2023. And when I say "in Java?" — I get the look. You know the one. So I built it anyway. A fully functional AI agent. With tool use. With R
At 3:17 AM on a Tuesday in Q3 2024, our production Kotlin 2.0 microservice fleet hit a 92% memory utilization threshold across 140 nodes, traced to a silent coroutine leak in Ktor 2.2’s request pipeline that had been bleeding 12MB of heap per second for 72 hours. We lost $14k in SLO credits before we found the root cause. A Couple Million Lines of Haskell: Production Engineering at Mercury (78 p